Series of Unfortunate Events
by aussiesheila47
Summary: The Life and Lies of Severus Snape. Proper summary inside. Rated for safety in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**A Series ****Of**** Unfortunate Events**

**Summary: I, Severus ****Tobias Prince ****Snape****, am a writer. I write letters. I know you're thinking, well, duh, but I don't mean letters as in a, b, c, etc. Well, I do, but I form them into words, which form into sentences. ****Uusally coherent ones.**** And the letters I write are the type you would send with owls. You would. I wouldn't.**

**Chapter #1 A Day ****At**** The Park**

Dear Lily

Ha! I know your name now. And you know mine. That's good. Dad's gone out to the pub again, so I actually have some peace and quiet so I can concentrate on writing, like Mum wants me to.

I'm sorry if I startled you today. I didn't mean to. I just couldn't help myself. You're a really good witch – yes, you are a witch. I know you think I meant that other word that rhymes with 'witch,' but I didn't. I never would, I promise – and I hope I can talk to you again soon. Your voice is really pretty. Your sister's isn't, though. What other magic have you done? I've helped my mum with lots of potions, especially now that I'm old enough to handle carrying hot pots and cauldrons.

I'd like us to be friends. I think you're a really nice person. I'd like you to know that what happened today isn't what I'd planned at all. I was going to just go up to you and say hello, and introduce myself, and you'd introduce yourself, and I'd show you some magic and maybe you'd show me some magic back, and your sister wouldn't interfere. What's her name, anyway? 'Tuney' can't be her real name, right?

I've got to go now. Mum needs a hand with the potion she's working on. Something about 'sobriety,' whatever that means. She's adapting it for use on Muggles, like my father. I'll write to you again later.

Your would-be friend, Severus.

**A.N: Story title comes from Lemony ****Snicket's**** acclaimed series of books. I'm not sure that this is how a ten-year-old would write (it definitely isn't how I wrote when I was ten) but ****since I don't have any letters from ten-year-olds I'm going to persevere like this. I **_**know**_** I should be working on **_**Unwritten**_** and _Hermione Granger, the Cleverest Witch in the World_,**** but the notebook I had the next chapters in has gone AWOL, so I thought I'd make the most of this latest bout of creativity. ****Reviews**** are always appreciated. In fact, I'd quite like _Unwritten_ to have a few more reviews before I update this...**


	2. Chapter 2

**A Series ****Of**** Unfortunate Events**

**Summary: I, Severus ****Tobias Prince ****Snape****, am a writer. I write letters. I know you're thinking, well, duh, but I don't mean letters as in a, b, c, etc. Well, I do, but I form them into words, which form into sentences. ****Uusally**** coherent ones.**** And the letters I write are the type you would send with owls. You would. I wouldn't.**

**Chapter #2 ****You're**** Too Pretty**

Dear Lily

Dad's gone to the pub. Again. Oh, well, at least it means I can write to you. Look, I swear I didn't mean to hurt your sister today. That's what I meant by 'when you're a kid and you can't help it.' I suppose I was angry that she was eavesdropping, and that triggered my magic. I'm really, really, really sorry. I hope she's not hurt.

How could you think you'd go to Azkaban? You'd never go there; I know you tend to stick to the rules. How do I know? You told me you've never had a detention. (Of course, that may just mean that you're too clever to get yourself caught, but you don't seem the type who deliberately breaks the rules anyway, if your apprehension about Azkaban was anything to go by.)

I'd love for you to come over soon. Mum says she wants to teach me a few simple Potions before I go to Hogwarts. I reckon it'd be fun to learn with you. Wouldn't that make them sit up and take notice, if you, a _Muggleborn_, could make certain potions already? Oh, and when we get our Hogwarts letters, and our booklists arrive, Mum says that it'd be all right for you to come along with us to Diagon Alley to but your stuff. I think she's quite excited that I have a friend.

Got to go. Mum's calling. I think Dad came home.

Your friend (finally), Severus.

**A.N: Ok, this is definitely not how a ten-year-old would write. But, of course, we all know that Severus is exceptional. Maybe Eileen taught him how to read and write, and Sev reads the **_**Encyclopaedia Britannica **_**for fun. (Maybe.) Reviews are always appreciated.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A Series Of Unfortunate Events**

**Summary: I, Severus Tobias Prince Snape, am a writer. I write letters. I know you're thinking, well, duh, but I don't mean letters as in a, b, c, etc. Well, I do, but I form them into words, which form into sentences. Uusally coherent ones. And the letters I write are the type you would send with owls. You would. I wouldn't.**

**Chapter #3 Curious Concoctions**

Dear Lily

I had a great time today; I'm so glad you could come. It's great that Potions don't actually require spells – at least, not the ones that Mum's teaching us. Look, it wasn't your fault the cat upturned the cauldron, all right? What can I do to make you believe that?

I'll make you come again, even if I have to drag you. It's _good_ for you, Lily. I know I said it doesn't make a difference that you're Muggle-born, but it does to some people and this is a way that you can show them up.

I think I heard a crash from downstairs. Either Dad's home or the cat got under Mum's feet while she was cooking – wait, it was just the cat. Good.

Weren't the fumes pretty? They were like your eyes, only not as substantial.

Dad's home for real now; I've got to go. Maybe I'll write again later.

Your friend, Severus

_Six Months Later…_

Dear Lily

It's been a while since I last wrote. See, I just haven't had the time. Dad's been sober more often lately – maybe Mum's potion is working – and when he's sober, he tries to care about me, so he sticks his nose in a fair bit.

Anyway, isn't it fantastic that we've covered every single potion on the first-year syllabus in six months? Classes at Hogwarts will be a snap.

It's amazing how Petunia could write to Dumbledore. How did she do that, do you think? There must be wizards in the post-office who take care of those things. Or maybe, when that teacher – what was her name? The Scottish one – came to talk to you and your parents, Petunia asked how she could get in touch with the Headmaster.

Oh, great. Dad's dry spell is over - he just came stumbling in again, and he knocked over the hatstand. Mum can't leave the stove at the moment so I have to go now to right the hatstand and put Dad to bed. I'll see if I can write later, after I've swept the snow from the hallway. (I'm just stalling now, as you can tell – or would, if I ever worked up the nerve to send you this.)

Your friend, Severus

**A.N: The second letter takes place just after Lily's eleventh birthday**** (January, hence the snow)****. The Scottish witch is, of course, Minerva McGonagall. ****Reviews are always appreciated.**


End file.
